I’m known for being able to give compliments, but never to accept them. It reached a stage where I was constantly refusing to hear what people had to say and finding it hard to believe.
“Me beautiful? That’s absurd!”
My friends mastered the repetitive art of rolling their eyes – I think purely based on the far-fetched, self trash talking I found myself doing a lot of the time around them.
Many of you can say that you can relate to this, some more than others.
To be honest, I struggle when it comes to confidence. I found myself constantly comparing myself to every other girl that I met or even passed by (public transport is the worst for this mind you!).
Those who know me would say that it isn’t obvious that I’m shy or lack self confidence. But for me, I felt like confidence had branched off into two things: outer beauty and inner beauty.
The person I am never really troubled me. On the whole, I felt like I was constantly striving to improve and be a better person for myself and for the people I loved.
However, when it came to looks, I didn’t want to talk about it at all.
It sickened me, in fact.
When you’re insecure about your looks, being surrounded by exceptionally beautiful women and girlfriends who are model-esque can make it harder to find beauty within yourself. Bright blue eyes, slender figures with curves in the right places, a ravishing smile and a nose that fit in perfectly on the face – were all the things I aspired to look like.
I wasn’t fond of my height, weight, smile and don’t even get me started on my boring brown eyes.
The funniest thing was there would be people with similar traits as me who I’d swoon over. But when it came to myself, I just could not see it.
Then one day, for some reason, saying these things about myself began to become a ritual tire.
There wasn’t a sudden defining day that everything changed. However, over time I began to realise that I was in fact beautiful.
I began to realise that yes, I didn’t look anything like my friends, or need to look anything like them, because heck, I’m my own person.
We often find ourselves trying to fit in by buying the same clothes and chopping our hair to fit the latest trend.
While all of that is exciting and ‘trendy’ in the moment, it doesn’t necessarily mean it will last or fulfil the happiness you were once seeking.
Be proud of your unique features. Value them and believe in yourself – others will see the light that you are radiating! Remind yourself to appreciate your inner and outer beauty!
You are beautiful.