Many of us face the immensity of the responsibilities of the powerful should.
I should do this. I should be that. I should.
I was a victim of the rat race, following a path that was considered to be a safe and assured option. Or so I thought. I compromised my gifts and passions to endure a path that lead only to misery. What was a girl to do? I had to get lost.
Writer Henry Miller asks, “Why are we so full of restraint? Why do we not give in all directions? Is it fear of losing ourselves? Until we do lose ourselves there is no hope of finding ourselves.”
Boom. I realized that my should was the cause of my fraying self and an unhappiness rooted in extrinsic values. Now is the time to throw off the shackles of should. Once I was free, I experienced the Technicolor version of life. This version brought me to people I love dearly, career opportunities gained, a deeper satisfaction and an ability to guard my heart and head, which led to the effective presence of me.
We are humans, creatures of paradoxes. How are we to gain assurance of ourselves when we are constantly evolving? By losing yourself, I do not mean exposing yourself to harmful experiences, negative words and destructive behaviour. Nor do I mean that you have given up and lost the race. Every one feels lost at some point in their lives. Losing yourself is a petrifying process.
So, you ask me, “What do I have to gain?”
I say, “Everything”.
By losing yourself, you throw out the cage that holds your pressures, demands, and anxieties and step out into the wondrous and vast lands of opportunity. Along the way, you will find your confidence, your voice, your bravery and your love. Your ups and downs will persist. Your periods of confusion are periods of motivation for change and evaluation. You will have questions. Answers will be searched for. Answers may be embraced or rejected. But by stepping forward, you mold and better the future you.
Too often I observe the effects of pressure in women, especially young darlings. In a world where we are bombarded with labels and impossible measuring sticks, I say throw your should out, get lost, find and embrace your I can.
– image credit: Death To The Stock Photo